Osaka and the Bicycle of Hate

This past weekend was a three-day, and despite my efforts to be well traveled/worldly, etc., I hadn’t made a single plan.

So on Thursday, I decided this would be my weekend for visiting Osaka, where Danielle lives. Who is Danielle? She is a lovely lady I worked with in Seattle during those long, arduous iD tech Camp months (or just the two of them). We got along wonderfully and it was only by chance that we both ended up in the same country and quite close to each other (about… 4.5 hours away in total, I think). So we were definitely overdue for a weekend together!

I grabbed a train from Mineyama (where Desirae and Andy were kind and took Kirby in for the weekend) and hustled to Kyoto Station. Originally, the loose plan was to meet up at Kyoto Station for some walking around and then later hop the train back to Osaka for a Thanksgiving Dinner at Outback Steakhouse. This was a grand idea in theory. I arrived at Kyoto station after receiving a text that Danielle was meeting a potential private student and probably wouldn’t make it to Kyoto, which was fine. The train station was the most crowded I had ever seen it! It seemed that Tokyo had come over for a visit and brought the twins. That’s a terrible metaphor. Anyway there was like, a butt-load of people there for some reason. Oh the reason? Gee, maybe that every Kyoto festival ever was happening on this weekend (which is probably why we had the three day weekend to begin with). There were lots of people in kimono and I was seeing geisha and maiko left and right!!! I decided to get the hell out of Dodge.

I hopped a hopelessly crowded train to Osaka. The ride was fast, but it didn’t seem as such when I was half stooped, half leaned between a door, a vapid couple, and a baby carriage. Most of me was standing, some of me was scrunched against the wall, and all of me was trying its hardest not to fall on the baby. The infant lived to see another day, and I arrived at my destination.

Osaka station is big and confusing. It connects to probably a million subway stations, underground malls, and hotels. I wandered while waiting for Danielle to text me back and tell me where to go next. About 75 minutes later, I got a single text from her. ‘Go to umeda station and the outback is around there.’ I then realized that Danielle wasn’t getting any of my text messages, and it was only by luck that she had sent me this one. I found my way to the subway station she had mentioned, after awhile… I didn’t realize it was a subway station so I sort of wandered around the JR trains… like an idiot. However after my relative success at locating the station, I then realized that there were 10 exits to the streets above. Not knowing much about Osaka, I then wandered around for an even longer time trying to locate the Aussie-American steak place. After asking two security guards, I found my way to the restaurant. I looked inside but did not see Danielle, so I proceeded to wait for 40 minutes outside, watching all the gaijin pass by.

Osaka has a lot of gaijin. It was scary, and I felt out of place since I seemed to fit in so well. Osaka also has a lot of bicycles…

I went back inside after the 40 minutes to find Danielle and her friend Pete in a corner. I suppose I just hadn’t seen them earlier. Regardless, I had a delicious steak dinner and got drunk on red wine. Danielle then had a bad asthma attack and spent a bit of time in the bathroom trying not to pass out… in our drunken states, Pete and I probably weren’t a great help to her. Eventually, however, we got Danielle back on her feet and grabbed a cab back to her house in Momodani.

Her house is about three stories and WONDERFUL. She has a crazy kiwi roommate who laughs to herself while watching movies and likes to talk AT people. This explained the behavior she had towards Danielle when we stumbled in, pale and drunk, and she started talking about knitting patterns or something. Maybe all Kiwis are just like that. I have yet to meet a sane one (cough BRYN cough).

We slept.

The next day we got up around noon (well I did, but mostly because I thought Danielle was still sleeping!) We decided food needed to come next, and then got lost on the subways trying to find any. Danielle usually bikes everywhere, but as her bike was stolen a few weeks back, and her borrowed bike was still at the Outback Steakhouse, we had no other choice but to take the trains. We did a lot of walking. Osaka has bridges, buildings, and subways. Not much when it comes to cultural things, but it was actually nice to be in a city that resembled a city and not a cultural heritage site for a change. Not that I’m complaining (I’m complaining a little).
We eventually found ourselves in Namba, an area Danielle lived in while she was with NOVA (as to say before NOVA died a slow horrible death). She took me to an excellent okonomiyake place where we dined on fine cabbage pancakes and colas. After that it was Starbucks city, which delighted me in oh-so-many ways. Ways which I am not comfortable discussing… Also I bought yarn and stamps. Yarn and stamps also make me happy for inappropriate reasons.

It was nearly 5pm by this time, and we made our way back to Outback Steakhouse to retrieve Pete’s bike (the borrowed bike, that is to say). At about this time, I realized that Danielle planned on biking back to Momodani. But what about Rachel, I asked? She pointed to the back metal grill of her bicycle. I obliged.

Riding on the back of that bike was a thrilling experience. Whizzing past traffic, people, lights, stores, and other bikes… and not being able to see a thing in front of me except for Danielle. It was terrifying. And amazing. At one point we hit a big bump and my leg flailed, causing us to lose balance. But we recovered! We in fact managed to not die the entire way home. We then watched TV shows and grabbed some dinner nearby (again on the bike). This time I used a sweater to pad my behind, as it was quite sore from the previous half hour ride from Osaka Station. Anyway, I’m no daredevil, so this was exciting to me. I’m such a rebel.

We also got donuts and coffee, which was easily as rebellious as the rest of it. Mine had chocolate on it.

The next day Danielle and I went to Kyoto city. We grabbed some coffees and took pictures with some maiko that were in town. A maiko is an apprentice geisha. The maiko in Kyoto are well known for their colourful kimonos and fabulous hairdos. They were adorable to boot! Couldn’t have been over 18 years old and definitely not over five feet tall. Kawaii to the max.

We then met up with Megan B and her friend Zara and walked around a crowded flea market in the area of Kitanosomething… anyway we took a bus there and then cabbed it over to teramachi where we had sandwiches and lemonade. THEN we did purikura. Purikura being a weird Japanese thing where you take funny pictures and then decorate them with backgrounds, sparkles, funny stamps or writing tools… and you make them look… EVEN MORE JAPANESE. We came out with some pretty decent ones if I do say so myself. They are stickers too, did I mention?

After that Danielle decided to wander the streets of Kyoto armed only with her amazing 10 megapixel camera. The rest of us did some half-assed karaoke (well Zara was whole assed, but Megan and I were definitely half assed). Japanese songs are strange. Japan is strange.

I then left and met Scott, Simon and Leigh for a ride home to Tango. It was uneventful, and as Tango-ey as ever. Everyone quiet and tired, and there being unnecessary tension all the time forever. I LOVE WHERE I LIVE.

Then it was home at midnight, and sleep for not long enough (this is how my weekends seem to be ending this month).