Poisonous Centipedes Dream of Electric Sheep

Centipede Celebrates Independence Day; Dies

The weather can't seem to make up its mind. Sometimes it's sunny and warm, and more often it's rainy and very humid outside. Usually they call this 梅雨 (tsuyu) or "rainy season". Ian always says that Japan can't have both "four seasons" and a "rainy season". Someone's lying somewhere I guess! In any case, rainy season is usually over by the first few days of July from what I remember, but it doesn't seem to want to leave this time.

I went to a 4th of July BBQ hosted by Natanya's English conversation group ladies in Kumihama. The weather wasn't exactly BBQ-esque -- it was misty with on and off drizzling. However, the BBQ was a lot of fun! They prepared meat, fish, vegetables, and squid. Yum! Not to mention that Rachel2 and Greg came up from the city/Yagi to come celebrate Americamas™! Thanks to the rain, nobody got bug-bitten or sunburned.

Afterwards we went to Natanya's house to sleep and have dinner. We clonked out pretty early (around 1 or 2am) and slept through the snores, murmurs and heat. And by, "we slept", I mean everybody made a lot of noise in their sleep while I prayed for dawn.

The next morning, I got up from underneath my desk bright and early, packed up my blankets and put my things in my car. After awhile, Kate, R2 and Greg also woke up and joined me in the kitchen for general sitting around and yawning. Natanya woke up last, and with a blood-curdling scream.

"MUKADE ON MY CEILING! IT'S ON MY CEEILIIIIING".

The rest of us ran to see, and sure enough there was an 8-inch, crimson, poisonous centipede crawling along the crevice connecting Natanya's bedroom wall to her ceiling. About 5 feet above where I was sleeping 30 minutes previous. Shudder.

"Natanya, calm down and get your mukade spray."
"It's HUGE."
"Yes! You're not wrong. But you need to get your mukade spray now."
"OK."

Natanya then handed me cockroach spray. It was worth a shot.

So I sprayed the mukade, causing it to fall with a loud 'thwup' onto her bedroom tatami floor. It started chasing me because I was spraying it with poison (poison that wasn't doing a lot!) This was when I called for backup.

"Natanya! GET THE SHOE! GET THE SHOE AND KILL IT! KILL IT NOW!!!! NOOOOOWWWW! DON'T CHASE MEEEEEEE!!!!"

Natanya pummeled that centipede with her hiking boot six times before it stopped moving. Six! After the hard part was over, it was time to extract the crushed, poisonous mukade from the floor and throw it in a bag... but mukade are really disgusting to look at, so this was harder than we'd thought. First I put on rubber gloves and got tin foil to pick it up and throw it in a garbage bag. The adrenaline from moments ago had me shaking, and I wasn't able to hold my hand still enough to pick it up. So, Natanya tried while I held teh garbage bag. The mukade's head then twitched and we shrieked like banshees.

"HOW is it still ALIVE?!?!?!"

Eventually we had Greg "Hero of Our Times" Khezrnejat come and pick up the mukade, wrap it in newspaper, and throw it in the garbage bag. Success!

There wasn't much to do afterwards except eat toast in silence and every so often make a comment about how big centipedes in Japan can be. Natanya's feelings of deep regret for not re-contracting or staying in Kaya longer rapidly dissipated. I thinks he's happier to go home now.

Natanya: "I want to go home now."
Kate: "This is my impression of Golem doing Disco"

Later on, I drove home and Kate joined me at the Honjo beach for some sun in the afternoon. We talked about leaving and what we want to do next. Nobody knows the answer to that question, no matter how many times it's asked. What I do know is that I'm moving away from the hills filled with poisonous giant centipedes and back to a country full of gnats, small spiders, and the occasional housefly. Because I am an American, and that's the sort of insect my emotional capabilities can properly handle.

Blakeney vs. the Mukade

Blakeney vs. the Mukade

I had a long, semi-productive day at the Board of Education this Friday. I made some props for the following week at elementary school, did some studying, caught up on bill paying, and fawned over plane tickets to different places in the world (Thailand, China, Korea,...) I might end up in Thailand for Christmas or New Years to get away from the cooooold!

After work I raced down to Yasaka to pick up Leigh, Liz and Leigh's friend Jer, who is visiting her. We drove down in my small car to Sonobe, which is about 2 hours south of Yasaka. From Sonobe we parked and hopped a train to Kyoto!

I got off in Kameoka, which is about 14 km from Kyoto city (where the rest of the group went to find their youth hostel). I however was cheaper and opted to stay with friends! So my first night was spent at Megan's house. She is a 3rd year CIR in Kameoka who is from Raleigh, NC. She looks like a long lost Weaseley sister and is the coolest, nicest girl I know in the city. We spent the evening hanging out in her cool apartment, she told me stories from her 2 years here in Japan and I shared the Inaka gossip with her. We looked at pictures and gabbed late into the evening. We were joined at some point by John Blakeney, a 2nd year ALT in Kameoka from Ireland. He is awesome. The three of us had an awesome time drinking weird carb-free beer and laughing at me not making sense (due to exhaustion plus being a lightweight).

At some point Blakeney (which I will refer to him as there is more than one John) started yelling in mysterious Irish English (which isn't really English) and said he'd been bitten by a mukade!!! Megan, having recently had a mukade up her pant leg, flipped out in the most graceful of ways. "Where is it? How did it get in??? Kill it kill it kill it!!!" So as Blakeney put ice on his arm, I lifted up the pillow, expecting something the size of... the pillow, and instead found a baby mukade. Megan sprayed it with half a bottle of bug spray, which probably did more damage to us than it did the bug. The bug died instantly and we tossed it away. Fortunately it was no bigger than a caterpillar so Blakeney did not develop a wound/brain damage/death.

Eventually, after more mukade scouting was had, Blakeney left and the two of us ladies fell asleep.

First Day of Work, Mukade Attacks

First Day of Work; Mukade Attacks

[Hollaaaaa~ it's my apartment complex. Mine's the 2nd on the right, and straight on until doorbell.]

I woke up at 7am with some very strange birds (or perhaps more Jurassic insects) singing to each other. I also noticed the small river in the back of my house. The peaceful sounds made it hard to get up. I didn’t bother to put away my futon. Again, I don’t know how to put it together so I figured putting it back would be even more useless (for all I know I'm sleeping on top of a comforter and underneath the mattress).

I had my Frosties breakfast in my tiny bowl and shooed away a daddy long leg that had been hanging out in my shower. I still haven't unpacked so I rooted through my things to find toothpaste and a face towel so I could get ready. I grabbed my purse and keys at the door and put on my shoes. I’m really bad at the shoe-changing thing. I keep forgetting to take my indoor sandals off on the tatami, it seems like a waste of time. But the Japanese are really quick at it so its just embarrassing for me. I went out to the front of the building to meet my boss, who works at the board of education in Ine.

While I was waiting for him, I saw Umezaki-san again and said good morning, we made small talk (or I insulted his family, I'll never know which). I went to put away my key and ended up seeing something that made me throw my purse on the ground and scream. It was an 8 inch long centipede. Not something I am accustomed to seeing... in my purse. It was kind of big too, and wiggly, which is why I screamed. I'm not scared of centipedes, per se, but I didn’t know it wanted to come with me to work. Umezaki san shouted in Japanese and DESTROYED Mr. Centipede with one quick motion of his sneaker. I felt kind of bad. But at the same time... I didn’t want to see it again. I found out its name; Mukade. ew. It means "100 legs" in Japanese.

Notably, Mukade is always said with great disgust. MUKade. and then followed with an upset face. Umezaki-san apologized and asked if I had found it upstairs or down. I said I found it in my purse! I don’t know! He looked confused and upset at the fact that their brand new foreigner had bugs. I was still confused.

Then the ride to the BOE... My boss is incomprehensible with the thickest Ine accent I’ve ever heard. I can't understand him at all. If he said something, I have to think about it to make sure my response is good. In the time I pause, he begins to explain himself further, in very quick Japanese. This confuses me further. He probably thinks I am retarded. He’s not far off.

The board of education is small and warm, but I have my own desk and computer (Windows 98, what a dream!). Nishihara-san and my boss went through my contract with me but when they got into billing and pension, I was lost. My predecessor says that life in Ine is mostly like this, but they won't generally let us make huge mistakes... I suppose its their job to figure everything out for us - such as bills and contract matters. I spent most of the day at a desk with a computer, not quite knowing what I was supposed to be doing. So, I wrote some of my own answers to an interview that the boss had shown me. His had been all in Japanese, which seemed extremely daunting, but I found Tamar’s original interview in English in a folder on the computer. I copied the questions, and translated my answers in rough Japanese. I’ll have someone look over it later. I also wrote an introduction about myself; where I’ve lived, where I studied, and how long (or short) a time I studied Japanese.

[Hey it's my car! Its name is Rouge, because that is what's painted on it.] ----->

The best part of the day, by far, was learning to drive my new car! Its no bigger than a bumper car... two doors, four wheels, and it moves if you shift your body in it. Its white with pink interior. The blinker is on the right side, which threw me off. The gear change is on the left, which was also strange. It was fun trying not to tumble into a ditch as I drove for the first time on the left side of the road. It was a bit frustrating because Nishihara-san was giving me pointers in Japanese, but of course, I didn't understand them. I think I kept stopping in the middle of the road and running stop lights on her orders. Her favourite phrases include "okay okay okay okay" and "stoppu stoppu stoppu" and the best one, "kochi kochi kochi". I have NO idea what that one means. I learned the 15 minute drive to and from my house. A lot of it is around a mountain and the roads are all very narrow, so its hard to go over 40 km ... I don’t know what that is in mph. Slow, though. It’s going to be a nightmare once it snows.

On the way back to the board of education, I noticed something in the road and slowed. It was a monkey, or saru. I yelled out, forgetting my Japanese, "sora sora sora!" which means "sky". I was abruptly corrected, and then we coo'd at the cute monkey. Awww.... kawaii saru neeeee... maaaaa. or "cute monkey!" Then there were more! 2, 4, 7, 10! Some were babies, kosaru, and one of them was riding on his mama! The others were running around and climbing trees. We rolled up the windows so they wouldn't try to climb in (aw). Then Nishihara-san told me not to look them in the eye otherwise 'PANMU!', which I assume means "WHACK" they beat you up. So don't look the saru in the eye. After work, the BOE gave me a bunch of the food that the summer camp didn't need. From that haul, I received a lot of mystery sauces and salad dressings, noodles, and vegetables! What will I do with four heads of lettuce? Lots of salad, I guess. Maybe they're trying to tell me something.

For dinner I made some noodles with dumplings and broccoli. It wasn't half bad, considering I cooked it. Then I smashed some bugs, hopped in the shower, and watched Batman Begins until I was sleepy.

My futon is too damn comfy. Its hard to wake up in the morning.