The week at gakko: Kimono retardation, apple pie, and international understanding

What a week! I still haven't had a chance to recover from the sleepless weekend, and unfortunately I went right into another hectic week at school.

Honjo Elementary School & Italian Food

Monday was a regular school day at Honjo Junior High School, however, on Monday I drove to Yasaka to wish Jer a bon voyage, and to eat Italian-style food! Leigh, Liz, Jer and I were all extremely tired from the weekend, but we managed to eat more food than a pack of hungry wolves. It was all topped off with a shou-cream, which is... a cream puff, I think. Liz is fond of them (not to mention extremely generous), and she bought four of them for the lot of us! I had mine for breakfast the next morning.

The following day at Ine junior high school was uneventful. Afterwards I sped down to Mineyama (about a 75 minute drive from my house) to attend kimono class. I am getting better, as I am able to put on all but the obi by myself. However, the teacher tends to rush over and do things for me as I watch her, attempting to help me with my apparent "slow learning" in that class. Unfortunately for the both of us, not to mention Liz and Kumi, I learn by doing. And if I am not given the chance to do things, I don't learn. I can watch something a hundred thousand times and I will probably never be able to perform it myself. Such is my undoing. Aside from inherent frustrations and lack of hardcore interest in kimonos, I do enjoy the class a great deal! It is always fun to see the many types of kimonos and to converse with the Japanese ladies in attendance.

Let's Enjoying Golf

I honestly don't remember Wednesday at school. I'm sure it was great, or horrible, but a blur otherwise. After school I met up with teachers from all the schools in the area (about 45 people total) and we played GRANDO GORUFU! Or, "Ground Golf", as I understand it. It's a bastardized form of puttputt golf/croquet. You take a mallet/club sort of stick and whack a ball across the bumpy dirt of the Ine Jr. High school baseball field. Then you try to get the ball into some sort of small gate topped with a flag (the flags are numbered). I was part of the BOE team, so not to make one school jealous of another. Although the BOE probably didn't realize they were worse off for it! They might of skyved me off on some other team had they known my "skill level" at unknown, obscure, made up, non sensical Japanese sports. The first round I was fantastic! I scored one of the top 10 places. However, it was a long way to fall. The second round was abysmal. I think I was second to last place in the end of that round. It left me somewhere near the bottom of the middle, where I was perfectly content to be.
Two of my teammates (my BIG boss, Hamano-san, and some guy at the BOE, Maeno-san), did very well! They made first and second place out of the whole group! They received prizes (a bathrobe and some tea towels, the manliest of prizes). Amano-san was SO happy with the results (aka: him doing well) that he treated the whole team to dinner at the sushi restaurant across the street from the school. The sushi restaurant I, until now, had not known existed. It was really delicious, however I had already eaten before grand golf, so my appetite was not at its normal level (ie: ravenous hippo). It was an interesting evening, to say the least. And, I forgot to mention, grand golf was extremely fun. I would play any night of the week.

Fan of the Aimi-Sensei

Thursday was a good day at school. I feel like I am really starting to develop some sort of teammanship with Aimi-sensei, thank GOODNESS. Her quiet demeanor has started to change around me, and I think she feels more comfortable speaking English in front of me. Thank goodness too, as the team teaching conference we're going to is just around the corner!

Shuji, Ouch.

Shuji was good too. My seiza position pains are lessening (well at least in my feet... the knees are still unhappy about it) and the teacher FINALLY knows I am left handed, even though I have tried to tell her countless times! She just laughed and says you can't write Japanese with your left hand. And the sad thing is it's TRUE. Oh well, hanging out with the little third graders while doing kanji was really fun! And I had the entire rest of the evening all to myself!!!

Ine Elementary, Not the Unhappiest Place on Earth

Today I went to Ine elementary school! The kids have been great, although I often feel like I really don't know how to teach elementary schoolers and I am just stalling for time. But they all seem to like me and want to talk to me, so I guess I came off for the better despite inadequate teaching abilities. Maybe that's WHY they like me so much. I don't make them learn! Hooray! Highlights of the day include making apple pies with the mentally handicapped children (although mentally handicapped 8 year old plus knives = TEARS.), getting hit in the back of the head with a volleyball during recess, and playing taiko for 6 entire minutes!!! I also had the extremely pleasure of eating lunch with the third years, and they asked me questions that I am sure helped develop their sense of America a little bit better. Such as, did you know you can buy carrots in America? And that they have coins too???? Also, Rachel-sensei eats all her food, can you imagine???? Such craziness had never been imagined!!! I am glad to be such an important international ambassador to this small fishing village. Next time I am going to tell them that we ride bears to school and eat tree bark. And we run around wearing ballroom gowns and shooting each other in the feet.

Epilogue

Now I am looking forward to the weekend. Rest, relaxation, and a lunch spread with Liz and company. I am happy. Happy happy happy. Although the weather is only getting colder, and my car seems to be in a bad mood. It is taking awhile to run properly in the mornings, which doesn't do well with my constant leaving the house late routine. You can't leave the house late properly and hop into a car that won't go over 25 mph!!!! You just can't.

Bummer.

The First Week of Classes

The First Week of Classes

This was my first week of classes and it was mighty strange. My first day all I did was introduce myself to the students, stumble through a poorly written speech that basically had to take up 3-5 minutes (ugh) and then sat around in the teacher's room all day being bored. Tuesday was essentially the same, only the kids were less quiet so I stumbled more skillfully through my speech.

Wednesday and Thursday I got to help out in class, which was fun! I have better communication with one of the JTEs than the other, so... the classes were different. Unfortunately I am going to have to just get my butt in gear and learn Japanese all quick-like so I can talk to her more easily.

Anyway junior high school kids are so weird. Some of them obviously have the puberty thing together, some of them don't. I've only had one "bad" student so far... he just refuses to participate (I think b/c he doesn't understand) and he puts his head down on his desk or chews on his nails and blah blah blah. But whether he learns or not, I don't really care. He might as well do something with his time though, I figure.

Eating lunch is really amazing in Japanese schools. Ours are too small to have cafeterias, so we have a kitchen and then the students all grab plates, food, trays, milk, chopsticks, straws, etc etc etc and bring them up to their classrooms. Then they all help serve lunch. Some kids will serve the soup or the salad or the main dish and they all place them on the desks. It's fascinating to watch. I suppose because so little was expected of me in school when I was a wee lass, I never knew kids of this age were so capable of doing things in a neat and orderly manner! Much less without throwing stuff at each other. Everyone sits down and when the last person is ready, one student comes to the front of the class and puts their hands together, and everyone follows suit. "Itadakimasu!!!" Or..."bon appetit" as I equate it to. It basically means "we will eat!" but very very very politely. Then everyone eats quickly and in complete silence. In about 30 seconds all the boys are done. They say "shitsureshimaaassuuuuu" and run out the door. Of course, they pile their dirty dishes and recycle their milk boxes in all the right places. And in a blink, they have vanished. The girls sit and finish their lunches more slowly, as is the female way (in Japan anyway). They clean up their things and then altogether they and any surrounding boys students will carry the dishes and finished containers down to the kitchen and put them away in a neat and orderly fashion.

Astonishing. I have never in my life seen anything more amazing than a Japanese junior high school lunch, and all of the protocol.

Today (Friday) I got to hang out with the elementary schoolers! And they were just unbelievably adorable. we played games b/c I sort of rand out of things to do so I made them up as I went along. I made the first years and second years play duck duck goose!!!! EEEEEE they picked it up so quickly! "dakku dakku guusu!" soooooo cute. I nearly exploded. I think the teachers agreed. I even managed to persuade some of the boys to pick some of the girls, and a lot of the girls outran the boys!!!

Then I got to eat lunch with the first graders, who are alllll girls and one boy!!! (poor Ren). I think because of this, the 2nd years joined us. I was asked lots of questions "do they use chopsticks in America?" "How old are you?" "Are you married?" NO. "Why not?" "Because I hate boys" and I asked one of the first years if HE was married, since he was sooo interested. And milk came out his nose. I think that means success. I can almost eat as much and as quickly as the first grade girls. Ugh, I suck at eating lunch Japanese-style. How the heck are they so small and beautiful if all they do is shovel food in their mouths? I guess its the whole running around for HOURS thing. They seriously train these kids from a young age like SOLDIERS. When I came into school this morning they were running laps. Teachers too. Probably, all of the six year olds could outrun me. Even the one with the sprained ankle.

For the lesson I showed them the world map (where Japan was in the middle and I was confused as to why America was so small in comparison to Canada ... Heeeyyyyy isn't America the biggest country in the world??? What gives?????" So I explained where I was from in ENGLISH and made them point out Japan on the map and where Ine was on the map. Then I talked about the family living in Turkey but they weren't FROM Turkey and the kids all love my cheapo ring with the evil eeeyyyeeee. And my super cheap Target watch. I have no idea why they like it, its falling apart and its ghastly.

I had to give class, aside from my intro, almost entirely in Japanese. To do this, I copied everything my Japanese teacher ever said (Maru-sensei). Such as

• Haaaaii, kiite kudasaiiii - listen please!
• Jyaaa-aa..... "sooooo...." or "welllll"
• and my favorite "san hai". - I have no idea what it means.

When Maru-sensei wanted us to say something as a class, she'd say "san HAI" and we'd all say things in unison. So I tried it and IT WORKED. I was so shocked!!!! So thank you Maru-sensei for being number one teacher.

Anyway today was far too cute. And they drew pictures of themselves and wrote their names and then I died. Or went to the BOE, uuuugh. I hate the BOE. Aside from drinking tea all day I don't do much else. I have also come to the consensus that girls are just naturally well behaved. WHY IS THAT???? All the girls were quiet and did what they were supposed to and the boys ran around screaming and punching each other and asking me what fruits I liked. I don't understand. But they are all 100% adorable.

Baby's First Enkai

Head of the BOE, Yukiko, and some crazy girl

Last night was my first enkai (宴会). What is an enkai? Well, that's a very good question! Websters describes enkai as a group of Japanese people trying to get the newbies or younger staff members drunk at a party or gathering. Actually the kanji for enkai means "banquet". But there is a lot of drinking generally involved. Because the workplace in Japan is an especially stiff one, the only true way to get to know your colleagues or underlings is to drink with them. And it was indeed a new experience in getting to know my coworkers.

There is zero tolerance for driving and alcohol in Japan. If you are caught drinking and driving, they ask you to step out of the car, give you a bushido blade, and request that your sepukku be a quick one. If you are in the car with a person who has alcohol in their system and you get pulled over, its sepuuku (read: jail) for you as well, and heaps of fines.

Because of this, and because everyone drives in Ine, we hired a bus to take us to the restaurant. So five of us piled into the bus. My JTE was there too, Tsuji-sensei. I think they invited her along to help translate, but it was great having conversations in English and in Japanese. The only translations she really did were before and after the enkai.

So the party was a lot of fun! I had every kind of sushi and sashimi that I have been craving since I got to this country! And they kept force feeding me more when they found out I love sashimi! I couldn't say now... I guess I just love raw fish.

There was a lot of alcohol too. Most of the male coworkers got pretty drunk. I myself got a little tipsier than I wanted to. I had one beer but then they made me drink something that is like a Japanese zima? But it was actually like a 16 oz gin and tonic in the end... mostly gin. It was hard to focus on what was going on even more than usual. I mean, sober Japanese people are hard enough to understand. But they asked if I had a boyfriend! And I realized I was probably the only single person at that table. I guess I am on my way to being an old maid! And I'm so FINE with that.

I am still shocked at how much food a tiny Japanese person can eat. I think they have super powers. In Japanese the "betsu-bara", or second stomach, is something you have so you can squeeze in desserts after a big dinner. I like the way they think.

On the way home, we talked about music in English that the kids in school like. Apparently they really like Avril Lavigne. A LOT. It is my new goal in life to change that, and to give them some new, better music for their own benefit!

My Neighbours Rock; My BOE is Clean

Office Employees Clean Office ; 26,000 Insects Found Dead

I met a few more neighbors and had a cleaning party with my staff at the Board of Education. It's been a crazy few days! For the cleaning party we stopped work around 2pm and went to work piling papers and cardboard boxes that could be recycled and sorting out things. In Ine, the junior high school kids do a recycling thing twice a month, and they drive around to certain areas to pick up corrugated boxes and paper and things. But, you need to put them into tidy piles and tie them with string so the kids can move them easily. I think it's a really good idea to recycle things and also to take care when doing so. Japan is really big on sorting the trash. There are a million categories ; plastic bottles, aluminum cans, glass items under a certain size, large heavy items, normal garbage, paper, and pura, which is things marked with プラon the wrapping (usually wrappers or plastic bags). Then there are things for Styrofoam as well. And no it wasn't easy figuring all this out!

So then we proceeded to sort, wrap, tie, and carry things down to the holding area. After that we swept up the masses of dead bugs and plant debris from around the windows and the floors and swept and vacuumed and mopped until we drowned in our own perspiration. Usually around 3pm it's about 96 degrees outside the humidity is just killer, so everyone was sweaty. But we got to change into less work-type clothes, so everyone was in sweats and crummy old shirts and things. I got to wear cookie-pants (stretchy pants for eating cookies) for the first time at work and a T-shirt. I have to say, that cleaning, although hot and sweaty, was a lot more fun than the usual grind. I don't think they do this every Friday, but maybe once a month? We all watched baseball and ate ice cream after it was done, and then went home. I have to say, I've never been prouder of a clean office! I guess when you do something yourself you do get that satisfaction from it. Although I still don't feel like cleaning my house.

Today I started to clean the house... just washing sheets and towels and vacuuming and scrubbing down the kitchen. It's just too hot to do everything at once. I took a break to grab sugar and milk from the store and to fill up my gas tank. The gas station owner is this really awesome nice guy, although I have a hard time understanding him. But he's very patient and kind, which is cool. On my way back from the errands, I met another neighbor, Michiko, who is the wife of my neighbor the retired English teacher (whose name, of course, I can't remember). They are super nice. Her English is really good, although she loves to say over and over "I can't speak English I can't speak English!" but with her English and my Japanese it's very easy to talk, actually. His English is better even and he's super nice as well. So they helped me figure out what days the garbage goes out and where to put things and so forth, it was very very helpful, because I really had no idea... and my garbage was starting to pile up. She also invited me in for tea, coffee, beer, or sake! She says. They are my favorite people right now, and it's awesome having two slight English speakers in close proximity. She told me that Ine only has 2'600 people living here, which doesn't shock me. But she says everyone is very nice, which I agreed with. The best was when I was asking about garbage, and she couldn't remember how to explain things so she grabbed my hand and started running towards her house with me in tow. She was ridiculously fast for a 5 foot tall 50-year old woman, I couldn't stop laughing. She then called out her husband. It's funny, cuz when married couples with children talk to each other they call each other "mother" and "father" in honorable terms. No "Oh, honey buggles?" It's "otoosan?' or "okaasan?" things like that. She told me she has a daughter my age, although I couldn't quite communicate with her on where this mystery girl was. Otherwise I would totally invite her to hang out and go to the beach and teach me how to make proper rice balls, cuz the ones I made yesterday were TERRIBLE.

It's really been fun getting to know the neighbors, and this is the first time I say that and actually mean it.

I really wish I could remember any of their names. I'm so bad at this. I only remember the names that I've heard before. Like Yumi, or Yukiko, or Tanaka. Easy ones like that.

Anyway, tomorrow I am having nine people over to go to the beach and destroy my house, but it'll be really awesome to have the company and to show them around! Plus I am looking forward to the seaside drive, it's kind of fun.

My love for flashcards outweighs my fear of the unknown.

My Love for Flashcards Outweighs My Fear of the Unknown

Things have slowed down.

I have come into a routine of waking up at 6:30, making breakfast, checking my phone email, watching a little of the children's programming on TV (the Tuesday song is the best one), and driving to work at 8:00.

If I don't have green tea in the house, I will certainly make a pit stop at the nearby grocer's vending machines for it. I am completely addicted to cold green tea. It isn't sweet like black tea usually is in the US, and it has a strange flavor! But, as soon as I have swallowed a mouthful of green tea, a new flavor overwhelms my mouth. I don't know how this magic happens, but it is the reason for my addiction. It reminds me of chocolate, although it tastes nothing like it. Maybe it satisfies the same parts of the mouth (wikipedia tells me that it does). I'm no doctor.

This morning on the road, I only had one car swerve around a corner half in my lane. I avoided him with grace. Japanese drivers are everything the stereotypes say they are- particularly in Ine. I did however, see a monkey, which made up for it. I brought my cassette adapter for my i-pod so I can listen to music in the car, which is wonderful! There is something really fantastic about driving up a Japanese mountain while blasting Diana Ross out the windows. And with every song, I have to wonder if its the first time this particular song has ever been played in the area. Its fun to make history with some seriously bad music (read: "Dr. Feelgood").

My house is a mess. I have officially strewn boxes and papers in just about every room. I need to motivate myself to actually clean them up and find places for them so I can have a spotless, meticulous Japanese abode. Of course that will require me looking through THE DESK™. Upstairs in the study there is a desk and a chair. Both of them are littered with old books and papers from the past two girls that have lived in the house. I don't want to sort through any of it, but its getting to the point where I will have to. I should just dedicate an afternoon to it.

Other than that, I wish they had a sushi place in town where I could grab some sushi. I haven't had a proper sushi lunch since leaving Los Angeles and I am missing all the delicious foods. I suppose I should just learn how to make it on my own. I am getting a little tired of noodles and rice, which is pretty much all I make at home. Although for lunch today, since I was too lazy to make my own at home, I will venture out to a nearby store in hopes of finding onigiri (rice balls wrapped in nori seaweed, really really really delicious) and maybe some candy.

I am also trying to find more ways to pass the time at work. Yesterday I think I checked my e-mail ninety times. Today, I brought my Japanese text books and flashcards and markers. If I get bored of drawing flashcards for my elementary students, I will switch to studying Japanese, and vice versa. It will hopefully keep me occupied until the end of the day.

So essentially, I have nothing new to talk about.

First Day of Work, Mukade Attacks

First Day of Work; Mukade Attacks

[Hollaaaaa~ it's my apartment complex. Mine's the 2nd on the right, and straight on until doorbell.]

I woke up at 7am with some very strange birds (or perhaps more Jurassic insects) singing to each other. I also noticed the small river in the back of my house. The peaceful sounds made it hard to get up. I didn’t bother to put away my futon. Again, I don’t know how to put it together so I figured putting it back would be even more useless (for all I know I'm sleeping on top of a comforter and underneath the mattress).

I had my Frosties breakfast in my tiny bowl and shooed away a daddy long leg that had been hanging out in my shower. I still haven't unpacked so I rooted through my things to find toothpaste and a face towel so I could get ready. I grabbed my purse and keys at the door and put on my shoes. I’m really bad at the shoe-changing thing. I keep forgetting to take my indoor sandals off on the tatami, it seems like a waste of time. But the Japanese are really quick at it so its just embarrassing for me. I went out to the front of the building to meet my boss, who works at the board of education in Ine.

While I was waiting for him, I saw Umezaki-san again and said good morning, we made small talk (or I insulted his family, I'll never know which). I went to put away my key and ended up seeing something that made me throw my purse on the ground and scream. It was an 8 inch long centipede. Not something I am accustomed to seeing... in my purse. It was kind of big too, and wiggly, which is why I screamed. I'm not scared of centipedes, per se, but I didn’t know it wanted to come with me to work. Umezaki san shouted in Japanese and DESTROYED Mr. Centipede with one quick motion of his sneaker. I felt kind of bad. But at the same time... I didn’t want to see it again. I found out its name; Mukade. ew. It means "100 legs" in Japanese.

Notably, Mukade is always said with great disgust. MUKade. and then followed with an upset face. Umezaki-san apologized and asked if I had found it upstairs or down. I said I found it in my purse! I don’t know! He looked confused and upset at the fact that their brand new foreigner had bugs. I was still confused.

Then the ride to the BOE... My boss is incomprehensible with the thickest Ine accent I’ve ever heard. I can't understand him at all. If he said something, I have to think about it to make sure my response is good. In the time I pause, he begins to explain himself further, in very quick Japanese. This confuses me further. He probably thinks I am retarded. He’s not far off.

The board of education is small and warm, but I have my own desk and computer (Windows 98, what a dream!). Nishihara-san and my boss went through my contract with me but when they got into billing and pension, I was lost. My predecessor says that life in Ine is mostly like this, but they won't generally let us make huge mistakes... I suppose its their job to figure everything out for us - such as bills and contract matters. I spent most of the day at a desk with a computer, not quite knowing what I was supposed to be doing. So, I wrote some of my own answers to an interview that the boss had shown me. His had been all in Japanese, which seemed extremely daunting, but I found Tamar’s original interview in English in a folder on the computer. I copied the questions, and translated my answers in rough Japanese. I’ll have someone look over it later. I also wrote an introduction about myself; where I’ve lived, where I studied, and how long (or short) a time I studied Japanese.

[Hey it's my car! Its name is Rouge, because that is what's painted on it.] ----->

The best part of the day, by far, was learning to drive my new car! Its no bigger than a bumper car... two doors, four wheels, and it moves if you shift your body in it. Its white with pink interior. The blinker is on the right side, which threw me off. The gear change is on the left, which was also strange. It was fun trying not to tumble into a ditch as I drove for the first time on the left side of the road. It was a bit frustrating because Nishihara-san was giving me pointers in Japanese, but of course, I didn't understand them. I think I kept stopping in the middle of the road and running stop lights on her orders. Her favourite phrases include "okay okay okay okay" and "stoppu stoppu stoppu" and the best one, "kochi kochi kochi". I have NO idea what that one means. I learned the 15 minute drive to and from my house. A lot of it is around a mountain and the roads are all very narrow, so its hard to go over 40 km ... I don’t know what that is in mph. Slow, though. It’s going to be a nightmare once it snows.

On the way back to the board of education, I noticed something in the road and slowed. It was a monkey, or saru. I yelled out, forgetting my Japanese, "sora sora sora!" which means "sky". I was abruptly corrected, and then we coo'd at the cute monkey. Awww.... kawaii saru neeeee... maaaaa. or "cute monkey!" Then there were more! 2, 4, 7, 10! Some were babies, kosaru, and one of them was riding on his mama! The others were running around and climbing trees. We rolled up the windows so they wouldn't try to climb in (aw). Then Nishihara-san told me not to look them in the eye otherwise 'PANMU!', which I assume means "WHACK" they beat you up. So don't look the saru in the eye. After work, the BOE gave me a bunch of the food that the summer camp didn't need. From that haul, I received a lot of mystery sauces and salad dressings, noodles, and vegetables! What will I do with four heads of lettuce? Lots of salad, I guess. Maybe they're trying to tell me something.

For dinner I made some noodles with dumplings and broccoli. It wasn't half bad, considering I cooked it. Then I smashed some bugs, hopped in the shower, and watched Batman Begins until I was sleepy.

My futon is too damn comfy. Its hard to wake up in the morning.