Going Back (Thursday, June 18)

Michele and Zaydeh picked me up not long after and I spent the day being exhausted with Oren and Michele and Mo (my cousin). They took me out to dinner and I met their nice friends Ed and Marsha and ate a hamburger and wished my life were better. That night I sat in a king size bed and watched ABC programming until I passed out in front of the TV – waking up just in time to run to the airport for my guaranteed flight.

I flew from Seattle to Vancouver to Tokyo to Osaka that day, but it didn’t feel as long as it was. I watched movies, ate more pizza, and enjoyed the last bits of circulated air conditioning before going back to Japan. Unfortunately I had missed my two days of elementary schooled, leaving me with a lot of guilt and a completely screwed up school schedule. It would have to wait.
From Osaka, I managed to catch the last trains up to Tango and to Natanya’s area. I didn’t have the energy left to drive home, so I slept on her floor and didn’t wake up for 13 hours.

I spent the weekend in my house catching up on laundry because the weather was hot and sunny for the first time in weeks. I spent some time with Natanya and Kate, but left their company early on Sunday to go home and feel miserable.

When it comes to the condo and owing money undeservedly, it could be the end of the world if I let it. But I won’t. I can deal with those things because they don’t matter. But not having my grandmother still weighs heavily on me, and I feel like there’s nothing to do but let it crush me until … until it doesn’t, I guess. I’m sad most of the time, but I know it’s going to get better. And I know that my next trip to Seattle will be one way, and under better circumstances. At least I hope so.