Poisonous Centipedes Dream of Electric Sheep

Centipede Celebrates Independence Day; Dies

The weather can't seem to make up its mind. Sometimes it's sunny and warm, and more often it's rainy and very humid outside. Usually they call this 梅雨 (tsuyu) or "rainy season". Ian always says that Japan can't have both "four seasons" and a "rainy season". Someone's lying somewhere I guess! In any case, rainy season is usually over by the first few days of July from what I remember, but it doesn't seem to want to leave this time.

I went to a 4th of July BBQ hosted by Natanya's English conversation group ladies in Kumihama. The weather wasn't exactly BBQ-esque -- it was misty with on and off drizzling. However, the BBQ was a lot of fun! They prepared meat, fish, vegetables, and squid. Yum! Not to mention that Rachel2 and Greg came up from the city/Yagi to come celebrate Americamas™! Thanks to the rain, nobody got bug-bitten or sunburned.

Afterwards we went to Natanya's house to sleep and have dinner. We clonked out pretty early (around 1 or 2am) and slept through the snores, murmurs and heat. And by, "we slept", I mean everybody made a lot of noise in their sleep while I prayed for dawn.

The next morning, I got up from underneath my desk bright and early, packed up my blankets and put my things in my car. After awhile, Kate, R2 and Greg also woke up and joined me in the kitchen for general sitting around and yawning. Natanya woke up last, and with a blood-curdling scream.

"MUKADE ON MY CEILING! IT'S ON MY CEEILIIIIING".

The rest of us ran to see, and sure enough there was an 8-inch, crimson, poisonous centipede crawling along the crevice connecting Natanya's bedroom wall to her ceiling. About 5 feet above where I was sleeping 30 minutes previous. Shudder.

"Natanya, calm down and get your mukade spray."
"It's HUGE."
"Yes! You're not wrong. But you need to get your mukade spray now."
"OK."

Natanya then handed me cockroach spray. It was worth a shot.

So I sprayed the mukade, causing it to fall with a loud 'thwup' onto her bedroom tatami floor. It started chasing me because I was spraying it with poison (poison that wasn't doing a lot!) This was when I called for backup.

"Natanya! GET THE SHOE! GET THE SHOE AND KILL IT! KILL IT NOW!!!! NOOOOOWWWW! DON'T CHASE MEEEEEEE!!!!"

Natanya pummeled that centipede with her hiking boot six times before it stopped moving. Six! After the hard part was over, it was time to extract the crushed, poisonous mukade from the floor and throw it in a bag... but mukade are really disgusting to look at, so this was harder than we'd thought. First I put on rubber gloves and got tin foil to pick it up and throw it in a garbage bag. The adrenaline from moments ago had me shaking, and I wasn't able to hold my hand still enough to pick it up. So, Natanya tried while I held teh garbage bag. The mukade's head then twitched and we shrieked like banshees.

"HOW is it still ALIVE?!?!?!"

Eventually we had Greg "Hero of Our Times" Khezrnejat come and pick up the mukade, wrap it in newspaper, and throw it in the garbage bag. Success!

There wasn't much to do afterwards except eat toast in silence and every so often make a comment about how big centipedes in Japan can be. Natanya's feelings of deep regret for not re-contracting or staying in Kaya longer rapidly dissipated. I thinks he's happier to go home now.

Natanya: "I want to go home now."
Kate: "This is my impression of Golem doing Disco"

Later on, I drove home and Kate joined me at the Honjo beach for some sun in the afternoon. We talked about leaving and what we want to do next. Nobody knows the answer to that question, no matter how many times it's asked. What I do know is that I'm moving away from the hills filled with poisonous giant centipedes and back to a country full of gnats, small spiders, and the occasional housefly. Because I am an American, and that's the sort of insect my emotional capabilities can properly handle.