Bike.

Here is a filler (probably the definition of filler) wot I wrote for the ganbatte times. It is not good, but it saves me the time of writing about my new bike. 読んで。I put it in courier font so it looks like I typed it for the Daily Planet.


The Adventures of Otoshita Kagi
Rachel K. Sreebny


Most people come to understand their lives after near death experiences, torrid affairs, or on their deathbeds (at least, this is what TV and movies have taught me). However, for me to realize the bizarre state of my life in Japan after six months in Ine-town, it simply required me to drop my brand new bike keys through the sewer grate.

My brand new bike is what the locals call ‘enji-iro’, which roughly translates to, ‘the color of a Dr. Pepper can”. It has three speeds, a basket, a bell, and a crazy Japanese bike lock, which I am only beginning to understand. The last bike I owned was a purple Huffy. It had magenta, pink and white streamers that danced in the breeze (much akin to Freddie the leaf), and some neat, neon-coloured rubber things made for bicycle spokes (as was the style in 1992). My bike, as I remember it, had a kickstand. When I wanted to abandon my bike for the day, I would simply pull the kickstand down and lean the bike on it. No problems there – I was quite the clever 2nd grader.

I was feeling fairly accomplished having spoken to the delivery man over the phone and directing him to my apartment (as many know is almost impossible to find amongst the monkey-infested forests of Upstate Tango). The idea of riding a bike again sounded lovely, and was part of my growing denial of the cold, cold weather. Certainly if I purchase a bicycle, wear spring clothing, and never turn on my heat, the weather will change accordingly. The bike arrived, and I hurried to unpack it from its meticulous Japanese wrapping. I quickly understood how to lock and unlike the bike with the keys. I pushed the bike stand up over the wheel, but couldn’t seem to get it all the way back down. As I was jimmying (Yankee term to mean ‘fiddling with’) the swinging bike stand, the key leapt out of the locked part of the bike and fell straight through the gutter into the muck below.

Two minutes, a potted plant hook, meter stick, knitting needle and scotch tape later – I had fashioned a mighty tool! A tool with which I hoped to procure my bicycle keys! Crouched down on my stoop in my school clothes (knee socks and all…), I came to the realization that this tool I had so carefully fashioned, I considered how lucky it was to drop my keys at the end of winter. The knowledge that I may not bump into the Jurassic insects that surround my home during the more formidable months helped me to continue my efforts of poking around in the muck and the mire. However, my tool was as efficient as the insulation in my house. I switched to the undeniable power of the garden shovel, which failed almost as immediately. Finally (and adhering to the rule of thirds), I acquired my keys by using my broom and dustpan. It was no simple task, but I had ganbatte’d and succeeded –a hero for the ages.

Disinfecting my keys in the kitchen sink, I thought about the evening’s events. Living in Japan is no small feat, but in this program I often feel that I never have to do anything on my own. My lack of language skills paired with my predecessor’s overly “independent” actions have led me to a lifestyle of sitting pretty, while lovely Japanese office workers manage my life. Doing so very little for myself on a daily basis, it was nice to feel accomplished – even in the simple actions of retrieving lost keys, ordering a bike over the phone, or realizing that the disinfectant I was using is actually lilac-scented fabric softener. I suppose without those small, household disasters, I would forget entirely how to do things on my own.

Perhaps it’s not the Michael Bay climax-style realization I made it out to be. If the reader finds him or herself unsatisfied, please also note that I made a cheese omelet afterwards, and that it was delicious.

Sand Dunes, Wet Blankets, and a Landslide

Elderly Respected, Sand Dunes Walked On

This weekend was a three day weekend. We had Monday off of work because it is the "Respect for the Aged Day" in Japan! It exists to honor and give respect to the elderly denizens of this fine fishing nation. Established in 1966, it used to be held every September 15th. Then someone brilliant established the "Happy Monday System" in Japan, moving quite a few holidays to Mondays in order to procure three day weekends. Since the Happy Monday System's establishment, Respect for the Aged day now occurs every third Monday in September.Historical tangent aside, we had Monday off of work.

A group of us who had Saturday free decided to go to Tottori. Tottori has quite a few natural attractions and tourist attractions! We had set out to see the Toy Museum, the Sand Dunes, and stay at an onsen for a bath and some dinner!!!

The crew: Marina, Jarrad, Yumi, Desirae, Andy (Desi's fiancé), and Kristin. Four Yankees, two canucks, and one Nihonjin in a pear tree. Or rather, in two tiny cars. We set off from Mineyama after a breakfast of French toast and tea ceremony matcha tea (which is strange and delicious). I had Jarrad, Marina and Yumi in my tiny car. The Canadians took Desirae with them. We listened to music and began the three hour trek west. It was a beautiful drive, but the 95 degree weather made us all very sweaty and cranky. We stopped at a few places on the way to take some photos!

At last we were at Tottori! We piled out of the car and explored the sand dunes. Apparently, there are sand dunes in Japan. Specifically in Tottori, and nowhere else. Who knew? It was hot but not too humid, as we were next to the ocean. We had fun playing in the alien desert and running up and down hills! There were quite a few tourists there, and it was fun watching the parents chase after their all-too-energetic toddlers, who inevitably would fall down the hills of the dunes in the most adorable of ways. It was definitely a lot of fun and something extremely different, even for Japan. Yumi had even made and brought onigiri for us to eat! For those of you who don't remember my brief onigiri obsession, they are Japan's answer to the sandwich. Sticky rice with something inside (like fish, fish paste, seaweed, tuna, etc) and wrapped in some nori (seaweed). They were fantastic and kept us going on our ridiculous trip.

After that we shopped for some onigiri. I suppose pears are the seasonal delicacy of Tottori because everything had pear in it. Some of the group even got pear ice creams! I stuck with water, since I was really dehydrated at that point. Then it was time for the toy museum! The museum was full of all sorts of toys from Japan and around the world. They had masks from every country, dolls, action figures, traditional old toys, modern toys, legos, kites, model airplanes, wooden toys, and puzzles! It was wonderful! We only had about an hour or so to spend in the museum, but everyone had a really great time!

Picture Says 900 Words, Poets Proved Wrong

Then it was about 5pm, and it was time to grab dinner and head back to Tango since it would be a long drive home. We got lost for about an hour trying to find some Thai restaurant and finally after asking about 2 people on the side of the road, we found a tiny tiny side road that led us to the restaurant. It had a gorgeous view and the curry was really delicious! We spent a lot of time there and set off on the road pretty late.

Grown Man, "Just Wants to Go Home".

Then the drama began. It was about a 2.5-3 hour drive to where we had began our journey, Mineyama. Mineyama is about an hour, hour and a half from Miyazu-city. So, because Ine was closer than Miyazu, I invited Yumi, Marina and Jarrad to stay over and I would drive them home in the morning or what have you. Everyone was fine with that, except Jarrad. Jarrad was only interested in getting to his apartment and got irritable and cranky. He said "well why can't we just go back to Miyazu and you can stay there?" "Because that's a four hour drive and I am tired?" Six hours of driving, in my book, is too much. He complained that he didn't have spare clothes or underwear. I said "Well... I have big t-shirts you can borrow if you want, and you can use my laundry machine or we can find you some underwear at the convenience store b/c they sell it at quite a few of them.... and I have extra toothbrushes, you can have a bath and a beer and you'll be fine." He was disagreeable to the whole situation. Finally we made him see reason and started home.

We took the northern coastal route. Jarrad by now had calmed down and explained that when plans change, he tends to get grumpy for awhile. I guess that's fine, I mean everyone is different. So everyone had high spirits once again! We stopped at a conbini to grab a few more supplies (candy, coffee for me, and underwear for Jarrad!) and then continued on our route, which led straight from Tottori to Ine, what a break!

Two and a half hours of driving and listening the ol' ipod later, we are nearing Ine! Nearing a bath and a fresh change of clothes and a good night's sleep on a soft futon... mmmmm. Instead we reach a sign and a huge blockade in front of the road. "Land slide. Road closed."

Oh. My. God. That was just about everyone's reaction. We were at least 45 minutes from the nearest small town and there are no other roads to Ine. The only one is closed. In order to get to Ine, it would take another hour and 45 minutes, by going back east, taking a southern route, going through Miyazu and then back up north to Ine, which would be ridiculous. Instead, we kept our cool and headed back towards Mineyama where Desi and Andy live. But it was nearly midnight by then and everyone was asleep! Instead I decided to keep truckin' and hoof it to Miyazu, where Jarrad would have his damn way. I think people thought I was going to freak out, but I just wanted sleep. I wasn't too tired to drive, but I was tired of being in a hot sweaty car with no A/C. On our dark winding road back through the coastal countryside, I slammed on the breaks to avoid hitting the wildlife in front of the car. It was a mama boar and her seven piglets. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. The scene was ruined a little by Marina screaming bloody murder at the surprise stop, and Jarrad's reaction to being awoken by Marina screaming and the sudden stop, which led to him grabbing the front seats and hitting his head on top of the car. Ridiculous. The pigs were even freaked out. We stopped, stared, and both went on our way. The piglets followed the mama like baby geese.

Finally we reached Miyazu. A shower. A good night's sleep. And Jarrad had his damn change of underwear.

But the weekend does not stop here.

Sunday we had a concert in Ine-cho. A group of people from Osaka joined up with quite a few of the Ine people to play the koto (wooden harp instrument), the shamisen (a Japanse "banjo") and one man played the bamboo flute. I was excited about the concert! However, matters became complicated when one person from Kyoto city (a 3 hour train ride away) decided that although she had not told me she would be coming, she would show up in Miyazu at 12:07. She let me know when she was on the train and said "pick me up at 12:07!" It takes an hour to get to Ine from Miyazu and the concert starts at 1pm. I was livid. After I banged my head on the wall, I said "FINE WE WILL PICK HER UP." but I was not happy about it. I didn't want to be late to my own town's concert because some person with no common sense went and.... didn't use common sense!!!! So I piled the three in the car again and drove to the station. After five people in my car (which is illegal for a car of my size, and very well should be) I drove as quickly/safely as humanly possible up the coast. My car barely moves with four people in it, so imagine five people plus me in an enormous hurry. I told the passengers that if anyone made a crack about my driving, they could walk the rest of the way. They got the picture.

And we made it! In 45 minutes! We got to the concert just in time to meet Randall and Toko (this Randall being a charming man from NZ who is married to the Japanese lady, Toko). The concert was beautiful. A lot of my coworkers and neighbors joined in with their instruments and everyone wore beautiful kimonos! It was the first time I had seen people in kimonos since coming to Japan, as they are traditionally winter-clothes and it's still summer (and in the 90s). I really enjoyed the different style of music and my neighbors were really excited to see me there!

After that we relaxed in Ine and there was more driving drama in that I had to drive everyone back, but my car was out of gas and all t he gas stations in town closed early because of the holiday. I made it as far as Iwataki and met up with Jun, another Japanese girl we're all friends with. She bought me a cannister of gas (which filled up 1/4 tank of my car!!!) and we went out to dinner with quite a few of the Tango JETs who had been to their sports festival on Saturday. After some delicious food, good stories, and play-by-plays of sports festivals, I was recharged. I drove back to Ine and intended to sleep for a thousand hours. When I arrived home I had a text message from Jarrad, "I forgot my keys in your car."

Blegh.

The next morning I slept in, had a big breakfast and caught up on movie-watching and sitting around. It was glorious. Around 2pm I went back to Miyazu to give Jarrad his keys and to hang out at Mipple where a group of us got lunch and coffee . It was very relaxing compared to the rest of the weekend. I got to know Simon and Bryn (two JETs who have been here awhile) and drove Bryn home to Iwataki as it was on the way home for me. He is really cool and told me all about my predecessors for the past four years. A lot of them really loved it in Ine, so I am not the first (and surely not the last). It was a nice change of company too, since I had been in the car with the same people for two days straight.

I have to say that overall, even though the weekend was badly planned on my part, it was extremely awesome. I definitely bonded with Yumi and Marina, although I am growing apart from Jarrad who I find generally annoying and unpleasant more and more frequently. But, as I learned, it's a big peninsula, and there are plenty of other people to drive around it with!

First Day of School

The First Day Jitters: Rachel Loses Balance, Dignity

I am having that first day of school experience that I tell myself I won't have, and ALWAYS end up having. Even as a teacher! I am doomed!

On my first day of high school I fell off the school bus! I was wearing platform shoes so I just toppled right off. And everyone was like "ARE YOU OKAAAY????" but I just got up and tried to disappear into the crowd as best I can. I told myself it was not the end of the world and I would live to see another day. Then I fell down in the hallway. And later I fell up some stairs. Apparently, my feet could not get it together that day.

I am kind of reliving that day.
In fact, I tell that story in my introductory speech, which I have written for my intro at the assembly (read: WAS FORCED TO WRITE). I made the mistake of writing it in English and in Japanese..... which I was helped with. But writing something and speaking something are different. And speaking in front of a mass of giggly teenagers who I've never met in my life is terrifying even though I am no longer a teenager. I think there is a part of us that stays a teenager forever. The part of us that dies of embarrassment when we feel like we're being judged.

Yesterday was fine. It was 9am and the students weren't even awake yet. I gave my speech, made no mistakes, and the students seemed to enjoy it and I immediately fell in love with all of them for not giggling through my speech or making me feel like more of an ass. I'm sure I was bright red after it anyway, I always blush when I have to do stuff like that.

Flashback to the first time I had to pitch a film idea in class, freshman year. I stuttered through my written proposal and people started laughing and making joke proposals about where the film could go (which I would later find hilarious as every one recommending things became my best friends not long after). The distractions of the people trying to lighten up my nerves made it worse, and I ended up turning bright red, not being able to say a word and nearly bursting into tears. Ironically it was Randall that came to my aid with constructive criticism and asked if I could show the class my storyboards (as he was the TA at the time). I couldn't get it together that day either.

Nearly four years later, I find myself standing in front of the bigger Ine junior high school class. Already the kids are giggling. It is not helping my nerves. I'm already preoccupied with the fact that I was unable to finish my lunch. Although delicious, it was seriously too much food. Curry, rice, orange pudding atop of weird seaweed (which is good but strange) which is called tokoroten (ところてん）, milk, an apple that I brought from home, and somen or そうめんサラダ, which is cucumber, carrot, noodles, egg and way too much mayonnaise. So everything was edible, and most things were quite delicious. But I really just can't eat that much for lunch!!! I never do! My big meals are breakfast and dinner. Mostly breakfast. Breakfast which I had eaten 3 or 4 hours previous, and I wasn't hungry to begin with. I couldn't finish. And in Japan, EVERYONE finishes their meal. Even these 75 pound women with the 14" waists were wolfing down their school lunch. I felt so embarrassed that I ate way more than I wanted to, and that somen might as well have been live slugs b/c I was not enjoying anything I put in my mouth. I was literally force feeding myself. It was disgusting.

Flashback to my 6th grade play when I forgot every single one of my lines and had to elbow the person next to me so they would go instead.

So after disgracing myself at lunch, not to mention feeling sick from too much mayo-noodle-salad-death™, I had to give my speech. Which brings us back to the gym full of giggling teenagers.

I messed up soooooooo maaaaany words. I kept telling myself "they're not giggling at YOU they're not even paying attention to you! They're giggling because they are 12 year old girls and that is what 12 year old girls DO" but it didn't help. Every giggle made me turn more scarlet, and every messed up word made me want to jump out a window. Finally it was over and I got down.

This is the first time I've wanted to cry since coming to Japan. But at least the speeches are over, and the next time I have to talk in front of the kids it will be in ENGLISH and I will be the one giggling at THEM!!!!! ...in a constructive and nurturing way.

I mean this day can only get worse, so maybe it will be my bad day for the week and I can look forward to fun happy things that make me not feel like a slug.